Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Of a mind to create pain.

People don't seem to realize that every single thing they do carries over a great amount of reactions and consequences. So, I'll keep this one short.

To anybody who so much as threatens anyone I care about: I will break everything and everyone they love.

The above is no threat, but a guarantee. I will spare no effort nor material wealth I may possess. It is my right and duty to destroy anyone I perceive as a threat. The law is meaningless... the law is an impairment. Am I above the law? I don't care about it.

"Whoever appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward. Whoever cannot take care of himself without that law is both. For a wounded man shall say to his assailant, "If I live I will kill you, if I die you are forgiven". Such is the Rule of Honor." -Omerta/Lamb of God

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Tempered

I

Bide my time, I shall
Become as a winter freeze
To chill the dread ones

II

Bide my time, I shall
Sharpen my hate with white fire
To burn away sin

III

Bide my time, I shall
Temper my wrath into steel
To cleave their rank flesh

IV

Bide my time, I must
Bury my disgust inside
To exhume enraged

V

Bide my time, I must
Break them all with glee and lust
Piece them apart soon

Monday, August 22, 2005

The Weight Inside

I've been given a burden, one I must keep forever within me.
Heavier than the knowledge of all my life so far.
Heavier than all of my gravest sins as one.

The burden sets me apart from the world.
The burden makes me as one with another.
Silence will be my way of honoring this confidence.

My silence is sacred; boon of my word.
Silence is not inaction; not peace;
Not absence of reaction.

I must act lest I rot from within.
I must inflict the full weight of my anger
Upon those deserving.

My creed

I would like to start off my brand-spankin' new blog with the set of beliefs by which I have chosen to live my life. You may consider this an introduction of sorts, if you will, to how my mind ticks. A rather brief introduction, nothing more.When asked about my religion I answer that I consider myself to be an agnostic. This, I believe, is the truth. It may leave a great deal of my beliefs out, but it is the term that comes closest to properly describing the way I see this character most know as God. So how exactly do I view the possibility of God's existence? With indifference. After several years of driving my atrofied little mind to the extent of it's limited capabilities in deep thought, I have come to the conclusion that God's existence doesn't change a single variable in anyone's life. If He/She exists, one's life remains essentially the same. If not, the same applies. Furthermore, if it were that God does exist, the question one should ask - the question that should really matter - is: Does God care? Does God care about each and every single living creature? Does God, at the very least, care about the human race as a whole? Does God care about that which we call "Universe" at all? Well, why should any of us care about God?

Religion. What a wretched thing it is. Do not misunderstand or make the mistake of thinking of Religion as being the same thing as Faith. Faith, on one hand, is quite an admirable thing. Many, many things can be accomplished through faith; "impossible" feats have been wrought through nothing but faith and conviction. Whereas Faith is an admirable "virtue", Religion is an abominable invention. In my eyes - and judging by the evidence we get from history and current events - Religion is nothing other than a means by which to control the masses. I've tried to believe, as a child; tried to embrace a doctrine out of the many I found. Needless to say, they all failed to suffice. The void remains unfilled. So I no longer seek refuge in a set of beliefs.Not only am I an instinctually irreligious person. I am a mysanthropist at heart. A closet anti-humanist. I hate humanity and I hate being human. I despise every single human being. It's nothing personal... or perhaps it is all too personal. Of all the creatures on this tiny speck of dust we call Earth, the Human animal is the cruelest of all. Oh, I'm quite sure you've heard that before. But have you given it proper thought? Think of every single person that is dear to you. Has any single one of them not been hurt or abused in some way? Animals, they act in self defense; it's self-preservation. Humanity hurts for sport. I despise you all. My mother, my father, my sister, my friends, every single woman I have loved. All of them I despise. I hate humanity. Thus, I hate myself. If I were to be given the power to obliterate humanity from the planet I wouldn't think twice. Every mother, every child. Humanity. Bold words? Perhaps, but I see no other path. Humanity will drive itself to extinction... and the entire world along with it.

Alas, I do not posses such power. Therefore, I must do what I can. If I could have every rapist, every thief, every abuser, every warmongering, selfserving, loveless piece of human scurge come to me... If I could call each and every single one out, I would spend my life bringing them pain and the realization that they are less than filth... death as a reprieve from suffering in hopes that I send them to whatever hell may await them.

I vow to poison every willing ear, every child, every mind, with my words; with my thoughts; with my hate. Though my love for all things living is great... No: BECAUSE my love for all things living is great.

Here ends today's quaint diatribe. I've run out of time, not fodder. Much to the world's dismay, I may very well post again.

Today's lyrics:"Silent Night Fever" by Dimension Zero

Written words that fell from grace
unmasked to show its solemn face
thrills is (are) born beneath our skies
fear is shown where evil lies

In my deep eternal darkness
I'm reaching for the edge
cant hold on much longer
I shed my final tears

SILENT - Is the air I breathe
NIGHT - Has now been feeding me
FEVER - Has been brought to you
SILENT NIGHT FEVER - MADNESS IS MY BELIEVER

Shadows reap these dirty walls
the demons laugh as his consciousness falls
they feast upon the grey and cold
unleashes the unleashable, now your story is told

In my deep eternal darkness
I'm reaching for the edge
cant hold on much longer
I shed my final tears

madness is my believer
MY BELIEVER

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Gnosis.

gno·sis (n s s)n.
Intuitive apprehension of spiritual truths, an esoteric form of knowledge sought by the Gnostics.

[Greek gn sis, knowledge, from gign skein, to know. See gn - in Indo-European Roots.]

Self-knowledge. How well do you know yourself? I believe we should always ponder this. Every day of our lives, without fail, we should attempt to decipher the enigma we are to ourselves. It would certainly make one’s life easier; honesty to one’s self.

How well do I know myself? Well, perhaps there’s no concise answer to this query. Though I’ve religiously spent countless hours questioning myself, my every action and all the possible motives behind these, I feel no closer to knowing myself than I did ten years ago.

It isn’t all wasted time, however. Far from it! I believe I have embraced certain truths about my character that may help me improve many aspects of my inner being. I will delve into these “truths” for the sake, not only of clarity, but that of sating my mind’s desire to see things set down in words. So what exactly do I think I know about myself?

Truth Number One: I am an idiot.

Yes, I am, indeed, an idiot. An idiot or any other word considered derogatory to my intellectual capabilities. By embracing this as a truth I believe I can successfully prevent myself from committing any particularly stupid actions. By accepting the fact that I am quite imbecilic, I guarantee that I will always have a part of me watching out for any possible chances wherein stupidity may be incurred. To those who might read this, this truth will serve as a warning of sorts. Be prepared, for I may do inane things for no apparent reason while in my head I’ll probably think they are genius. If you have the grave misfortune of knowing me personally, please point these things out. I may not have the presence of mind to know I am being a complete sod.

Truth Number Two: I am unnecessarily complicated.

I have a tendency to overextend myself. How so? It is a habit of mine to make things so much more elaborate than they need to be. Not only that, but I also take on many, many things simultaneously, thus ensuring mediocre performance in every single one of my endeavors.

Truth Number Three: I am generally indifferent to pretty much everything.

Perhaps I should say “outwardly indifferent”. It is not that I don’t care, but simply that I really don’t see the point in caring too much about anything (with a few special exceptions, of course). I wouldn’t consider myself to be a bad friend altogether, but I am a rather inconstant one at that. I tend to disappear from time to time. Sometimes for particularly extended periods only to reappear as if nothing’s happened later on.

Yes, I know this makes me come across as an asshole… which may be all too true. Well, I’ll cut this entry short and continue with my myriad “personal truths” at another time.

Adieu.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Smarmy!!!

First post. Nothing more... yeah.