Bedroom Scene in April

She seems to have lost most of her physical desire. She lies there hoping his feeble attempts at initiating sex do not rear their ugly heads at night. She doesn't want to hurt him. It is a nightly affair and one that may turn up while the sun still shines. The dormant flower may open up fleetingly and wither in the space of minutes, to rest indefinitely again
until something brings it back to life.

He has tried to become as un-intrusive in his petitioning, in his soliciting, as possible. He fails repeatedly to initiate in a way that won't rub her the wrong way, but most attempts over time have yielded little other than invariably angering her and frustrating him. He feels emasculated in having to quell his assertiveness despite knowing he cannot possibly deal with making her feel bad.

When the fire is lit, she usually is the one initiating. Yet, she has come to despise the very act that brought them together in the first place. What was once an active volcano now spurts, slowing, cooling, with the occasional plume and eruption. Perhaps the ebb and eddy of any prolonged relationship. The downs of any mature love affair.

He wrestles with the knowledge that she finds it a chore, when he wishes she would long for his touch and feel like she used to, without having to fall into the invariable depth of feeling undesired.

They know they love each other. The peak expression of physical love has become a thorn in their side. When hearts are laid bare, raw, it is impossible not to feel hurt.

She hates him for making her feel bad. He wonders how he might make things better. Solve or skirt this issue. All he really wants is the be held and hold her in turn. Perhaps she would like that, too?

He will simply forget. Forget his desire to express himself in the physical way and find another outlet, a new way, a new vehicle, a new art. For her, he thinks it better to suppress this side of himself. He hopes it won't be an issue any longer. He hopes.

Perhaps abstinence will refocus their love. It has not waned, it has not withered, but maybe it would be beneficial. He thinks it is not a bad idea.

He just wants the peace he finds in her arms. If desiring more would lead to losing her, he'd rather not yearn.

Both sides feeling dejected, the matter agley. He hopes he can still bring a smile to her face and hold her close, soon.

Differing libidos, expectations, overthinking and fear.