Droning

It's four in the morning and i'm staring at the computer screens at work. Been getting into an alternate wavelenght in my brain throughout the night so as to manage the insane monotony of the graveyard shift. Should have been writing tonight, but I fear I am victim to my own expectations... so I am purging tonight. Getting rid of the bad vibes, of my crutches and failings, of my goals and expectations. I must simply do things for the sake of doing them, not for the possible outcomes.

The mind darts to and fro in the throes of cannabinoidal schisms, a mental paroxysm seemingly unending. I think on everybody, and remember even things long suppressed and forgotten, and more amazingly glimpse strange life forms and truths of reality. Insight, the kind that is almost palpably difficult to hold within the confines of one's mind. That is how I know I am in the deepest phase of the trip. But most people don't trip with this stuff. Most people just vegetate. In my case, the mind cannot be stopped, it runs unbridled into the darkest, strangest corners of the universe...

Life is interesting. It is very strange, also. It is very much a bunch of ado about something we assume and hope lies beyond the toll booth at the end of the mortal coil. But it is interesting.

I wanted sedation, I got said sedation. Other things desired but I know I'm not ready. But, oh, it smarts, the loneliness, the vacuous sea of silence. It smarts yet somehow it is comforting.